


We're Not In Holby Anymore

by Shirazkindofgirl



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, Bernie isn't dead, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fix It Fic, Grief/Mourning, Missing in Action, fanfic can fix what canon has broken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-08 14:49:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19871410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shirazkindofgirl/pseuds/Shirazkindofgirl
Summary: When the hospital where she's working in Somalia is hit by a bomb explosion, Bernie is missing in action, presumed dead.  However, Bernie will do anything to stay alive and get back to her loved ones. Even if it means helping the enemy.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> After the events of Prioritise the Heart, I've decided Alex went back to the army. In the years since, she's earned a promotion.

Dust and smoke swirled in the air, Bernie coughed, her throat felt raw and her ears rang. At first she thought she was dreaming about the IED again. The nightmares had returned stronger than ever since she had rejoined the RAMC. It had been seven months since that fateful night in Holby when she and Serena had decided they just couldn’t be together. Returning to Nairobi hadn’t really been an option, it turns out some hospitals won’t let you unresign after you’ve upped and left without working your notice period, even if you are one of the greatest trauma surgeons in the world. So Bernie had spoken to her ex-Army commanding officer who had jumped at the chance to welcome her back. Major Wolfe had dusted off her uniform and Bernie had taken up a position training trauma surgeons in Somalia. 

Bernie coughed again, screams and cries of the injured and dying filled her ears. Her senses felt dull and sluggish. Opening her eyes, her vision swam for a few seconds before the blurry image came into sharp focus. This was no dream. The hospital had been hit. Debris lay all around, Bernie tried to sit up. Her head throbbed painfully. She raised a hand in slow motion, no blood. That was a relief, but she did have a lump on the back of her head where she had been thrown against the wall. Taking stock of herself, she ran a fast self-diagnosis, taking in how her body felt. Other than her aching head, a few cuts and bruises which would form later, she appeared to be unscathed. The same couldn’t be said for the poor man opposite her. Dead. 

A strong hand hauled Bernie to her feet, “Alex?” She murmured. A rifle pointed at her chest and gestured for her to move. No. The man, dressed in army fatigues was definitely not Alex, nor was he part of the hospital staff. With a push to her shoulder, Bernie stumbled forward. Trying to remain on her feet as her head spun and a wave of nausea gripped her stomach, Bernie realised the explosion must have been caused by some sort of bomb. She picked her way slowly through the bodies of her colleagues and patients, broken equipment and fallen masonry littered her path.

A wide gaping chasm yawned like a slack mouth where the front doors of the hospital had once stood. Bernie clambered over the twisted metal, shattered glass crunched under her army issue boots. She slipped on a pool of blood, she managed to save herself from falling by grabbing for the nearest solid object, part of a wall which had once been the coffee shop next door to the hospital. In a daze she looked around, trying to see if any of her colleagues had survived the blast. The last thing she felt was the prick of a needle in the side of her neck. Then, Bernie’s world went black.

The truck bumped hard and Bernie’s head hit the window with a smacked. It jarred her enough to wake her from her drug-induced slumber. She cracked one eye open, it was dark outside. She must have been unconscious for a few hours, at least. Bernie tried to lift her hand to her face, her wrists had been bound and she realised, so had her ankles. She sat immobile for a few moments, then she shifted as much as she dared trying not to draw any attention to herself. A street lamp outside lit the interior of the truck for a few seconds. It was enough for Bernie to see that she wasn’t alone. Other staff from the hospital had been taken. As far as she could see, all were bound, the same as Bernie herself. She appeared to be the only one conscious. 

Bernie slid to the edge of her seat and tapped her foot against the leg of the nearest person, a red-haired nurse named Maddy, who had recently transferred from Sudan, if Bernie remembered correctly.

“Hey, Maddy. Can you hear me? Wake up.” Bernie whispered. Her foot tapped insistently against Maddy’s leg. Maddy slowly began to stir. 

“What the hell happened? Where are we?” Maddy said. Her voice sounded loud in the back of the truck.

Bernie shushed her. She hoped no-one had heard Maddy over the dull roar of the engine and the noise of the tyres on the bumpy road surface.

“There was an explosion at the hospital. Do you remember? Are you hurt?”

There was silence for a few moments and Bernie thought Maddy had drifted back into unconsciousness.

“I’m okay, Ma’am. Where are they taking us?” Maddy whispered.

“I don’t know.” Bernie replied. She thought for a moment, there was one question burning on her lips. Finally, she gave it voice. “Did you see what happened to Major Dawson? You were working with her surgical team, weren’t you?”

Maddy shook her head, “She had gone to prep for theatre. We were about to take our patient through when the explosion …” 

Bernie let out the breath she had been holding. If Alex had made it to the hospital’s operating rooms, she might have avoided the worst of the explosion. Of course, Bernie had no way of knowing if there had been more than one bomb. From what she had seen, it looked as if the front of the building had been the epicentre of the explosion. It gave her some small comfort to think that Alex might be safe. 

Knowing there was nothing she could do for now, Bernie allowed herself to think about what would be happening at the hospital. If they couldn’t find her body, she’d be reported as Missing in Action. She inhaled sharply. Cam would receive a visit from a Red Cap. They’d find him at the hospital, which meant … Serena … Bernie closed her eyes. She knew how much this news would devastate them.

The truck lurched to a stop, Bernie slid back in her seat and tried to peer out of the window. From the little light spilling in from outside, it appeared as if the truck had stopped in some sort of warehouse. The sound of footsteps approaching the back of the truck caught Bernie’s attention. There was little she could do whilst bound, but if she could figure out where they were, it would help if an opportunity arose for an escape bid.

The back of the truck creaked open and torches shone into the interior, momentarily blinded by the light, Bernie raised her hands in front of her face. A hand gripped her shoulder and pulled her to her feet. She was dragged from the back of the truck and landed hard on the ground. Breathing heavily, Bernie tried to sit up. Maddy landed beside her, their captors dragged the other medics from the back of the truck and placed rice sacks over their heads. Bernie wondered why the men had bothered kidnapping them from the hospital if all they were going to do was shoot them now. Maddy squealed as a sack was placed over her head. Bernie looked up into the eyes of one of her captors as he approached with a sack for her. 

“So you don’t see where we are going.” He said and placed the sack over Bernie’s head. Arms hauled her and the other medics to their feet. The ropes around their ankles were cut and they were pushed forwards out of the warehouse and into the night. This might be her only chance of escape, of course they might kill her in the process, but Bernie had to take the chance. She reached up, removed the sack from her head and tried to rush for the nearest area which might afford her some cover. It appeared as if they were near some docks. Vessels were moored and container shipments were being unloaded. Taking her captors by surprise, shouts went up as Bernie sprinted across the concrete. There were containers in front of her and Bernie hoped if she could just make it to them, she could hide amongst them. Just as she reached what she hoped would provide a bit of safety, something appeared in the side of her vision. She had a split second to realise it was the butt of a rifle before she felt it connect with the side of her head and everything went black again. Bernie hit the ground hard. Blood trickled down her face and dripped to the concrete below.

Voices, muffled voices. There was a constant throb in her head. It felt as if someone was beating a drum in time to the throbbing. Everything hurt. She tasted the metallic tang of blood in her mouth and knew she was going to vomit, she struggled to sit up. Hands grasped her shoulders and hauled her into a sitting position, Bernie retched, emptying the contents of her stomach into the bucket which had been placed under her chin.

A hand settled between her shoulder blades and rubbed gently. “It’s okay. Don’t try to move too quickly. I think you have a concussion, Ma’am.”

Bernie recognised the voice. Maddy. 

“What happened?” Bernie wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and collapsed back against the body supporting her.

“You tried to mount a one woman escape bid. You didn’t get too far. I thought they were going to shoot you. They knocked you out.” Maddy pushed the bucket away. 

Bernie groaned. “Where are we?”

“On a ship, somewhere at sea. I looked out the porthole as soon as it was light. There’s no land to be seen. I hope you don’t get seasick, Ma’am.” Maddy smiled softly as Bernie turned her head to look at the woman behind her.

“Pirates.”

“I assume so.” Maddy replied. “We’re locked in a cabin. I don’t know where the others are.”

“Help me up.” Bernie said, hoarsely.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ma’am.” Maddy answered.

“Given our current situation, I think we can dispense with rank, don’t you?” Bernie staggered to her feet. Maddy stood behind her, arm around her shoulder and guided Bernie towards the porthole of the cabin.

Bernie gasped. There was nothing to see except sky and miles and miles of clear blue sea stretching out around them.

“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” Bernie whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie meets the Captain and discovers why she has been kidnapped.

Hours passed, Bernie dosed on and off. Their cabin was functional at best, but the bunk was no worse than Bernie had endured in the army. Maddy woke her periodically as was the custom for concussion. The sun rose higher in the sky and then began its descent, the boat moved onwards. Footsteps and voices could be heard around the boat. Suddenly, the lock on the cabin door clicked, the door swung open with a creak and a tall, thin man stepped through. Bernie glanced towards the open door, another burly man stood just outside the doorway. He held a gun loosely in his grip. His face wore an expression which almost dared Bernie to try to escape. She slumped back against the pillow, knowing she was in no fit state to attempt anything. Even walking across the cabin to the porthole had sapped what little energy she had. A tray was placed on the table and both men left locking the door again.

Maddy brought the tray over to the bunk and Bernie eased herself into a sitting position. She felt dizzy, but not as bad as she had when she had first awoken on the boat. The meal consisted of beans and rice with a small amount of some unidentified meat. There were two large mugs of water and Bernie sipped at one when Maddy passed it to her. She really didn’t feel up to eating, the thought of food made her stomach lurch again. However, she knew she had to try to keep her strength up. There was no way of knowing what their captors wanted, or when they would be given food again and Bernie had no intention of going down without a fight. Bernie smiled briefly when she thought of the name Serena used to have for her, “Big Macho Army Medic”, well, maybe it was time to live up to that name. The thought of what Serena, Cam and Charlotte would be going through thinking that she was dead brought forth a new determination within Bernie. Taking her plate from the tray, Bernie forced herself to eat a few mouthfuls of rice and beans. She took another sip of the water and put the plate back on the table. She noted their captors had given them spoons to eat their meal, they were obviously smart enough not to leave them with anything resembling a weapon.

“How are you feeling?” Maddy’s voice broke the silence of the cabin.

Bernie sighed and shifted to make herself more comfortable. “My head aches, I’m sore all over, but otherwise, I’m okay. I’ve been in worse situations. How are you holding up?”

Maddy closed her eyes for a second. “I’m scared. What do they want with us?”

“I wish I knew.” Bernie rolled her head to the side and stretched her aching neck.

About an hour later footsteps could be heard in the gangway outside the cabin. The footsteps grew louder as someone approached. The lock clicked and the door opened. The same two men as before stood in the doorway. The one with the gun gestured for Bernie and Maddy to stand up, then he gestured for them to move ahead of him into the gangway. The gun pushed into Maddy’s back and she in turn put a hand to Bernie’s shoulder. The thinner man stepped in front of them and led the way up a set of rusting stairs and along another gangway. They stopped outside a closed door and the man knocked, he opened the door and Bernie and Maddy were pushed inside. The door closed behind them with a resounding thud. 

Bernie looked around. This cabin was larger than the one she and Maddy had been confined to. It was obviously well used. The cabin’s occupant turned in her chair and rose slowly. Bernie felt as if she was being compared to a specimen under a microscope when the woman’s eyes swept over her from the tips of her boots to the top of her head.

The woman cocked her head to one side, “I trust my crew have taken good care of you so far?” 

“We’re being held against our will and I could have done without the resounding headache back on the docks. Who are you and what do you want with us? You do know people will be looking for us, don’t you? I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when those people find you.” Although her head still ached, Bernie was in no mood to mince her words.

The woman stepped closer and gripped Bernie’s chin, she turned Bernie’s head to get a better look at the wound on the side of her head. “My apologies. Those were not my men at the docks. My men would not have treated you with such disrespect.” Her hand grazed Bernie’s chin as she stepped back.

“Are you saying your people weren’t responsible for the explosion and our kidnapping?” Bernie asked.

“No. I found myself in need of a surgeon and I offered part of my cargo as trade. Mercenaries do not have the same respect as my men.”

“How do you know I’m a surgeon?” Bernie raised her head.

The woman stepped around her in a slow circle until she was face to face with Bernie again. “Just because I am a privateer …”

“Pirate!” Bernie interjected.

“Privateer.” The woman insisted. She looked Bernie up and down again and then continued, “It does not mean I am uneducated. I know all about you Major Berenice Wolfe.”

Bernie couldn’t stop her sharp intake of breath.

“Does it surprise you that I know who you are? I was not always a privateer. Now, as I said, I have need of a surgeon. Come with me.” The woman opened the door and led the way down the gangway. Bernie noticed the man with the gun stood just beyond the doorway, she and Maddy had no choice but to follow the woman.

The woman stopped outside another door. She opened it and stepped inside. Bernie and Maddy followed. The smell of rotting flesh hit them as soon as the door opened and Bernie raised her hand to cover her nose and mouth. Bernie closed her eyes for a second as she brought her breathing under control. She would not show weakness in front of this woman, she would not vomit in front of her. Behind her, she heard Maddy exclaim and then the sound of retching filled her ears.

The cabin had been set up as a makeshift hospital room. Medical equipment had been haphazardly scattered around, Bernie’s eyes were drawn to the bed in the corner of the cabin. The occupant, a young man appeared to be sleeping. The woman walked forwards and sat on the edge of the bed. She took the young man’s hand and raised it to her lips. She placed a gentle kiss on his hand and then turned to look at Bernie. 

“His leg. I know it cannot be saved. He drifts in and out of consciousness. You need to operate.”

“He needs to go to a hospital. I can’t operate on him here without the proper equipment.” Bernie took a step back towards the door and felt the cold steel of a weapon push between her shoulders.

“You will operate. You will save him.” The woman stood up and crossed the floor. “We have tools.”

“What about anaesthetic?”

“That is one of the things we do not have.” The woman replied.

“You expect me to amputate his leg, without proper equipment, in an unsterile environment? You must be crazy!”

“I know you have operated in worse conditions. You are the great Bernie Wolfe.”

“No. I won’t do it.” Bernie stated firmly.

“You will do it, or you will die.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie operates. Will her patient survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update today and then one final chapter tomorrow, which I'm intending to post before the next episode of Holby airs.

Blood, so much blood. Trying to operate with just a nurse to assist was one of the worst things Bernie had experienced. She’d had to tie off veins, shape the muscles as best she could to give the young man as much chance as possible. If circumstances allowed, he could be fitted with an artificial limb in the future. Then of course, she’d had to saw through the bone itself. Sweat beaded on her brow and her headache returned. Bernie directed Maddy as best she could. It was obvious the young nurse was out of her depth. Not for the first time that day, Bernie found her thoughts turning to Serena and Alex. What she wouldn’t do to have the experienced duo operating alongside her right now.

They had used the last remaining dose of sedative to carry out the operation. It wasn’t anaesthetic as such, but it had rendered the young man unconscious long enough for Bernie to carry out the amputation. 

Bernie had queried the whereabouts of the other hospital staff taken with her and Maddy. She had been told they were not onboard the vessel. She could only hope they were still alive.

Hours later, Bernie stepped back. The young man had survived the amputation, whether he would survive the night was another matter entirely. If infection set in again… 

The Captain crept into the cabin and surveyed Bernie’s work. “I did not doubt that you would succeed and my son would survive.” She said, clasping Bernie by the shoulder.

“Your son?” Bernie queried. “How did he sustain the injury?”

“Cargo came loose in a storm. He tried to tie it down before it could damage the ship. His leg was crushed.” The Captain walked to the side of the bed and looked down upon her son. She stroked his forehead gently. A soft look passed over her face before her usual inscrutable countenance returned. She straightened up abruptly.

“Come. I think you have earned a drink and I am sure I can find some clothes for you to change into.”

“Oh, no. I should stay with my patient.” Bernie replied, “Although, a change of clothes would be good.” She gestured to the blood which coated her fatigues.

“One of my crew will sit with him. I want to know more about the great Bernie Wolfe.” The Captain insisted.

It wasn’t long after that Bernie found herself in the Captain’s cabin wearing a fresh pair of combat trousers and a vest top, with a glass of Whiskey in her hand. She took a slow sip and felt the burn in the back of her throat. 

The Captain relaxed in her chair, she put her feet on her desk and crossed her ankles. She regarded Bernie with a contemplative glance. Bernie shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  
“I have followed your work for a while now. You did an amazing job setting up the trauma centre in Nairobi.”

Bernie frowned, “I don’t understand. Why would someone like you take an interest in me?”

The Captain took a sip of her drink. “As I said before, I was not always a privateer. I had a family, a career. Now, my son is all I have left of my old life.” She paused and took another sip of her Whiskey. “You helped someone I was very close to a long time ago and I have taken an interest in your work ever since. I knew we would meet again one day. It was fate.”

“So my kidnapping wasn’t just bad luck? I was targeted deliberately?” Bernie shook her head.

“I had need of a surgeon. I wanted the best.” The Captain shrugged her shoulders. She stood up and walked to the door, “I have no plans to keep you here against your will for longer than necessary, Bernie. Tend to my son, help him on his journey to recovery and I will let you go. Now, I think it is time you checked on my boy, don’t you?”

Bernie checked her patient’s vitals as best she could. HIs pulse was thready, his breathing laboured, but without specialist equipment Bernie could only guess at what was going on. He wasn’t tachycardic yet, which was the one thing they had going for them at the moment. She checked the wound and redressed it. It looked clean, for now at least. There wasn’t much she could do but wait and hope the young man survived the night. 

“My boy is strong. I know he will survive.” The Captain’s voice was a quiet whisper in the stillness of the room. 

Suddenly, the boat lurched and a commotion could be heard on the deck. Bernie heard frantic voices. The Captain opened the door and spoke to a crew member who raced back along the gangway. 

“What’s happening?” Bernie asked.

“We’re being pursued by a navy vessel. Stay with my son.” The Captain replied as she ran out of the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Bernie survive a rescue attempt? WIll she see Cameron, Charlotte and Serena again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the last chapter of (most likely) the last fic I'll write in this fandom. Thanks for all the comments and kudos, I appreciate it.

Bernie stood still for a moment, she could hear the Captain shouting instructions to her crew to alter course. Bernie ran to the porthole, whatever was happening was on the other side of the ship. Knowing this might be her one chance to escape whilst everyone was distracted, she took one last look at the young occupant of the room, “I’m sorry.” She whispered.

Bernie turned and checked the coast was clear, she slipped through the door and closed it firmly behind her. She made her way back to the cabin she and Maddy had shared. The door was locked. Maddy having been confined again after the surgery had been completed. Bernie banged on the door.

“Maddy? Maddy, are you there?”

“Bernie!”

“Stand back” Bernie shouted. She took a few steps back and then barged against the door. The wood splintered and the lock gave way. The door swung inwards.

“What’s happening?” Maddy asked.

“The boat is being pursued by a navy vessel. This may be our chance to escape. Come on!” Bernie grabbed Maddy’s hand and pulled her out of the cabin.

They made their way up the rusting metal steps and continued their climb up two more flights until they reached a deck area. The sounds of fighting could be heard from every direction and Bernie held her finger to her lips in the universal sign to stay quiet. Maddy nodded and Bernie took a chance to have a look around the bulkhead. At that moment, gunfire rang out and Bernie ducked back. The vessel had been boarded and the pirates were fighting for their lives. Bernie knew it would be unwise to try to make a run for the deck now. The last thing they needed was to get caught in the crossfire.

Should they stay where they were or go back to the cabin? That was the question playing on Bernie’s mind. The sound of someone running towards their position focussed Bernie’s attention and she decided they’d be safer below decks. She pushed Maddy back towards the steps and they began their descent.

A few minutes later, although it felt like a lifetime to Bernie, they found themselves back in the cabin with their patient. Bernie closed the door and looked around for something to use as a barricade. Before she could act, the door burst open and an armed officer shouted.

“Hands up. Stay where you are.”

Raising her hands, Bernie shouted back, “Don’t shoot! I’m Major Berenice Wolfe of the RAMC, this is my nurse and this man is my patient.”

The officer checked the area was secure before lowering his weapon. “We have control of the vessel. You’re safe now.” He radioed to his commanding officer and two members of the task force joined him. One stayed with the patient whilst the others escorted Bernie and Maddy to the main deck. 

What felt like hours of debriefing later, Bernie and Maddy had just finished eating their first proper meal in days. They sat opposite each other in the mess hall of the Navy ship. In an hour, they were to rendezvous with a helicopter which would transport them back to Mogadishu. Bernie desperately wanted to call Cameron to let him know she was alive, but she knew that would have to wait as her Commanding Officers would want a debrief, even if it meant going over everything she had already told the Navy Captain. A frown crossed Bernie’s face. It was worrying that there was still no news on the other medics who had been kidnapped.

Four Days Later

Bernie watched the London skyline as her plane circled on its final approach to Heathrow. Her Commanding Officer had insisted she take leave and think about her future with the RAMC. Bernie didn’t need time to think. This had been one close call too many. She’d survived being blown up twice in her career. She knew the chances of her surviving a third time were slim. She couldn’t do it to her kids again. She didn’t need time to consider. The email had been written. She would send it at the end of her fourteen day leave period. 

She had spoken to Cameron on two occasions since her rescue. Obviously, he had been overjoyed to hear that she was alive and in reasonably good health. The bruises would fade over time. Bernie closed her eyes and thought of her last conversation with Alex.

“You’re not coming back are you?” Alex had asked.

“Can you blame me? I can’t put my kids through this again.” Bernie had said as she packed her belongings.

“I hoped we might … We never stood a chance, did we?” Alex’s tone made Bernie stop what she was doing and really look at the other woman.

“Alex …”

“It’s okay Bernie. I understand.” Alex stepped forward and hugged Bernie tightly. “Go home, find Serena and tell her how you feel. Don’t take no for an answer this time, okay?”

Bernie hugged her back. “Stay safe Alex.”

Bernie opened her eyes as the wheels of the plane touched down with a light bump. Cameron knew her flight details and she couldn’t help wondering if he’d told Serena.

With her luggage in hand, Bernie stepped into the arrivals hall. She looked around and stopped in her tracks. Charlotte and Cameron rushed towards her and hugged her tightly. Bernie dropped her luggage and rocked back on her heels for a few seconds before she regained her balance. She couldn’t help the tears that sprang to her eyes as she clung to her children. 

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m home and I’m staying home.” 

“Don’t ever scare us like that again, Mum.” Charlotte whispered. 

“I won’t. I promise.” Bernie replied as she stepped back and turned to pick up her backpack.

“Erm … Mum …” Cameron said. “There’s someone else who wanted to see you.” 

Serena stood a little further back, a pensive look on her face.

“She wasn’t sure if you would want to see her.”

Bernie nodded. “Give me a second.” She took a few slow steps towards Serena and held out her arms. Serena moved forwards and tentatively embraced Bernie.

“I needed to see that you were alive. I wasn’t sure if you would want to see me, though.” Serena whispered, her voice thick with unshed tears.

“Of course I want to see you.” Bernie replied. “It was the thought of you and the kids that kept me going over the past week.”

“Really?” Serena asked.

“Really.” Bernie confirmed. She slipped her hand into Serena’s and turned to face her kids, “I think it’s time we went home, don’t you?”

Home. Bernie wanted a quiet life from now on. Home was Cameron, Charlotte and Serena. It wasn’t perfect and they still had a lot to work on, but she was alive and she wasn’t going to waste a second chance.


End file.
